Sorry, no online dictionaries contain the exact phrase apprehensive despair.
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Reverse dictionary results:
1. anxious
2. angst
3. anxiety
4. clouded
5. dread
6. fear
7. trouble
8. cloudy
9. dire
10. disease
11. miseased
12. pain
13. rocky
14. torch song
15. troubled
16. troubling
17. alas
18. deplore
19. distress
20. doom
21. sadly
22. draw
23. abash
24. above
25. aggrieved
26. agonized
27. ail
28. all
29. allay
30. also
31. back
32. believe
33. bilious
34. bright
35. care
36. caring
37. cark
38. case
39. chaotic
40. clear

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You can look up the words in the phrase individually using these links:   apprehensive ?   despair ?
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